DAPP Before DAP: The First 1,000 Days That Shape Everything

Why Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Practices (DAPP) Must Come Before Developmentally Appropriate Practices (DAP)

We always talk about Developmentally Appropriate Practices in early childhood education — but let’s be honest...

The first developmentally appropriate practice doesn’t happen in the classroom. It happens at home.

What is DAPP? So let’s break it down.

DAP — Developmentally Appropriate Practice — is the gold standard in preschool and early childhood classrooms. It’s all about making sure what we teach matches where the child is developmentally:

• What they can do physically

• What they can handle emotionally, if necessary

• What they understand cognitively

• What they’re ready for socially

  
  

But what if that child shows up at school already behind — not because of poverty, not because of intelligence — but because the parenting practices at home weren’t developmentally appropriate?

That’s where DAPP comes in. Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Practices.

The stuff we do before they ever step foot in a preschool.

1,000 Days Before School

Let’s look at the numbers real quick.

Most kids start preschool around age 3. That’s 1,095 days of life before school even has a chance to teach them anything.

That’s 1,095 days of:

• Hearing your tone

• Watching your reactions

• Learning what ‘love’ looks like

• Absorbing how discipline works

  
  

So here’s the question: What are we teaching in those 1,000+ days?

Because if a child walks into a classroom at 3 years old — and they’ve never been co-regulated, never been spoken to with intention, never had their feelings named or honored, never been taught how to do things or how things work, — it’s not the preschool’s fault that they’re struggling.

That’s a DAPP issue.

Comparing When DAPP Starts vs. DAP

DAPP: DAP:

Parenting at home Teaching at school

Begins at birth Begins around 3

Regulates the nervous system Builds on the regulation to teach

Usually untrained Requires formal training

See the gap?

Preschool teachers are trained in child development. Parents? Not so much.

And yet — we expect them to lay the foundation for emotional safety, cognitive language development, and self-control... all without tools.

Why DAPP Must Come First

Look — if a preschooler hits another kid, the teacher’s going to use redirection or coaching. But where did that child learn to hit in the first place?

That’s the question nobody wants to ask.

If DAPP is missing, DAP becomes triage. The school becomes the rehab center for what the home couldn’t — or didn’t — do.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

What DAPP Looks Like

DAPP means:

• Knowing what’s normal for a child’s age

• Adjusting your strategy when they’re dysregulated

• Owning your own culturally and family-given/taught emotional reactions as a parent

  
  

It’s asking questions like:

• Can my 3-year-old really share yet, or am I asking too much?

• Is my 6-year-old lying… or still learning the boundary between fantasy and truth?

• Is my teen defiant… or just tired of not being heard?"

  
  

DAPP is not soft. It’s smart. Because nothing is stronger than a parent who is both developmentally skilled and developmentally informed.

Final Thoughts

If we want our children to thrive in school, we’ve got to raise them in homes that understand where they are, not just who we want them to be.

That means…

DAPP before DAP.

Because before a child walks into a preschool classroom…

They walk through your parenting.

And those first 1,000 days?

That’s the curriculum that matters most.

Encourage a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. Encouraging this mindset can help your child face challenges with confidence. Here are some tips:

• Praise Effort, Not Just Results: Focus on the effort your child puts into tasks rather than just the outcome. This encourages them to keep trying.

  
  

• Teach Resilience: Help your child understand that failure is a part of learning. Encourage them to learn from mistakes.

  
  

• Set Realistic Goals: Help your child set achievable goals. This gives them a sense of accomplishment and motivates them to keep going.

  
  

• Encourage Curiosity: Foster a love for learning by encouraging your child to ask questions and explore new interests.

  
  

Encouraging a growth mindset helps children develop perseverance and a love for learning.

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This is Instructor Mike. You've been trained.

Why Developmentally Appropriate Parenting Practices (DAPP) must come before Developmentally Appropriate Practices (DAP) in early childhood education — and how those first 1,000 days shape everything that comes after.